Nothing 2 Declare: Exclusive! First time ever ... audio recording of HMRC stopping a shopper returning to UK 2010. Pt 1

INSANE

Nothing 2 Declare: Exclusive! First time ever ... audio recording of HMRC stopping a shopper returning to UK 2010. Pt 1

Magic or the internal logic of a four year old

This is a real conversation I had with Alice in bed when she was supposed to be asleep.

S "What is it?"

A "I need some milk"

S "It's on the table next to you"

A "There is none left."

S "If you've drunk it all then that's it. Time to sleep."

A "But I didn't drink it all.

S "If there is none left you must have. that's all. Go to sleep."

A "I didn't drink it though."

S "Well you must have if there is none left it was you."

A "It was magic."

She wins. 

Signed Books

I was just over at Abercrumbles site and someone made a comment about protocol at signings. Do you bring a book, do you buy a book, that kind of thing; which is fair enough. You don't want to look like a tit. After all I can do that without the aid of a room full of people and a famous author.

I went to a signing  and asked him what the score was. 
I think the answer was "If you've got a book of mine I'll sign it. If you want to buy a book of mine I'll sign it." 
I'm sure he actually said it in a more pithy, amusing and suave way.

The really clever bit was that Joe asked "what was your favorite bit in the book" and I reckoned that it would have been where furious got his name by biting some guys nose off in a battle. He then flicked through the book and found a quote and wrote that in the front cover and signed it. Fantastic. 

So good I have asked other authors to do the same. 

Richard Morgan sold off a load of his books that were clogging up his office or some other room. Now two of my favorite books are Black Man and The Steel Remains. It's no surprise I e-mail Richard with a huge order that is a bit over the top on my part but in the end I settle on the above two books with a personal message.

Here's what I chose for Black Man

And here is what I got for The Steel Remains (US Version)

And for the extra special I love this, I got a post card to explain the 'typo'

I can remember the day I picked these books up and I was pretty pleased at the time and to get a little note in there just made my day.

I think a lot of the fun of quotes signed in the books is the going through the book in your head to find your own Eureka moment.

I am so pleased to have these books signed personally that I am showing off; at the same time I think authors appreciate the fan who wants the personal touch and will be willing to go that bit further.

Polly

Kat

Here are the pictures of your nephew

I can't work out how to upload a picture on facebook any more. 

Hope you're having fun in Thailand.

The only name we have so far is Polly, a nice name chosen by Alice, but I suspect he may get a bit of piss take at school if we call him that.

What I Learned at Work

The job for the day was pulling down a lath and plaster ceiling, screwing plasterboards up and skiming.

Done that before a few time so you might not think there would be anything more to learn.

First up there were a few confirmations which is always pleasing because you know you're on the right track.

1. I bought the materials the previous day, good idea, saves time on the day.

2. Everything is taking longer than I thought, the guy who worked with me moved to Canada; confirmed.

3.You should wear gloves when doing this because if you don't your skin drys out and cracks, also you will rip off half of one of your finger nails. Check, knew that. Now minus nail and plus split skin.

4. Got in the van to go and get lunch. Funny smell in there, it was my blow torch. The van was full of propane/butane gas. Glad you've stopped smoking. Hell yes. I don't like the idea of splattered Simon in the exploding van.

So far so good. I knew all these facinating things before. The main thing about this job is that it is really very dusty, to the point that sitting outside watching the dust billow out of the door is a common occurance.

So you sit there watching this with your dust mask on.

You MUST NOT under any circumstance sneeze.

This is how you're blog is seen from the outside. In pic 4 no title, in pic 3 (reader) the title seems to be there.

Do You Like Babylon 5

I was at work, feeling a bit the worse for wear after my night out in London to collect my camera, when one of the guys says to me "Do you like Babylon 5?"

Of course the answer is yes. Take a look at this lot,



You can have this lot for twenty quid. It doesn't make the workmen with the screaming angle grinders in my head go away but it did cheer me up.

I was going to tot up the running time of all the dvds and then work out how much I paid per minute but then thought that might be a bit much.